Get Good

JBrekkie Concert, A Happy Belated Canadian Film Day, & super 8 film

“I see the good in everything.”

The woman repeats herself in the vlog I’m watching. I’ve been a long-time viewer and fan of the vlogger. She describes herself to be a spiritual person yet not tied to any organized religion. My instant reaction was irritation. I thought that it may be easy to believe that as a woman with seemingly no responsibility in the world. Then, I wondered: What was the alternative? The reverse of that is to see the worst in everything. That tends to be my nature. The pessimism has never gotten me anywhere but listening to The Smiths on repeat.

I always attributed my pessimism to having a “realistic” point of view and optimism to being “delusional.” No matter how many feel-good or affirming YouTube videos I watch, I fail to alter this belief. Yet, I keep trying. Ironically, I even have a pessimistic motivator for changing. I don’t want to be like the other negative people who are destructive to themselves and others. Negativity begets more negativity.

The camera zooms in to see the flaws; the chapped lips, the dry skin, the inflamed eyelid, the 2-day old zit. In my nitpicking, I often forget the point of capturing the moment in the first place. The point is to remember. My splotchy memory may have led to my obsession with constant journaling and taking photos of everything. My phone makes recording easy—my voice, my image, my thoughts. There’s a need for me to save everything to refer to later.

Maybe, I can’t see the good in everything right now, but I can definitely see the good in some things. I think I can start with that.

Creations

Super 8 Film from Portugal

I have procrastinated getting my film developed. I had it all prepared last year, but never seemed to have the time to develop it. That’s not necessarily true. I just feared that it would look bad/never develop/etc. For my first foray with Super 8 film and minimal training, it turned out okay.

Find it on my Instagram paired with a Fado song

Concerts

Japanese Breakfast

In the nosebleed seats, I perched atop with my friends Annie & Ren. I haven’t really listened to JBrekkie’s new album other than the ones on the setlist. A mistake that I humbly rectified after the concert. We were all excited to listen to Boyish. I was especially excited for Woman That Loves You & Be Sweet. JBrekkie did not disappoint at all. She literally had an actual gong that she hit at the end. She also waved at us (and only us!) thanks to Annie! That’s my literal mother.

After the concert, I spotted a few friends—Jaime and Alex. As Annie said, “Is there anyone else you didn’t get to say hi to?”

Films

Watches – CANCON edition

In honour of Canadian Film Day, I have compiled a list of my first-time watches of Canadian films from the last month-ish.

Art of Woo dir. Helen Lee

As Helen Lee’s directorial debut, there is some roughness around Art of Woo, but it remains a sweet romcom. The chemistry between the two leads is the most charming part of the movie. I love the silliness of the two characters.

I was surprised by the origin story of the screening. The programmer watched an unfinished copy of Art of Woo on a random floor at TIFF. This year was probably the first time it has been shown in the theatre in a while. Though no one seemed to fact-check that, including me.

Lazarus at Night dir. Nicolas Pereda

I saw this and immediately thought oh, a film can be anything. The film is based on the lives of the actors and is played by them as well. It’s their hardships and their hopes. This exercise in vulnerability would murder me, yet it seems to be the norm for these creatives. I am in awe of the vulnerability they (literally!) perform.

Mattias et Maxime dir. Xavier Dolan

I love this film but not as much as Dolan’s old ones, “I Killed My Mother” and of course, my favourite of his, “Mommy.” I truly see myself in his gen z girl character that unknowingly created the whole emotional turmoil of the movie.

The Shrouds dir. David Cronenberg

My experience with this has been much better since I watched this alone in an empty theatre with my feet up. I’m surprised at the restraint of body horror in this one. Or maybe I am desensitized as a kid who watched those Egyptian mummy documentaries on NatGeo.

Rewatches

Pride & Prejudice – 20^th Anniversary

I have seen the last clip that has been cut for Netflix for the first time. I was utterly surprised that I haven’t seen this before. I love it so much more now.

In the Mood for Love

What can I say that wasn’t said before? I love this movie. Letterboxd Top 4 forever.